Accepting The Black Chihuahua

The hardest decision I’ve had to make;
Was revealing my hound and the toll it takes.

It’s incredibly tough and a pain to express;
The ways a Chihuahua can cause distress.

Sat with the doctor, struggling to say;
How it made me change my ways.

C.B.T. was the appropriate route;
But accepting my problems wasn’t a hoot.

As I identified my thoughts and fears;
The anxieties brought me close to tears.

The Black Chihuahua took a bite;
Teeth stained crimson, fur dark as night.

Looking into its eyes, I saw myself;
A reflection of my mental health.

I hid the hound so no one could see;
The embarrassment it was causing me.

But hiding it only made things worse;
The anxiety built and released in bursts.

The next stage was to tackle those thoughts;
Using methods I had been taught.

To rationalise what was shouting loud;
Like fighting through a flowing crowd.

Each shove and push to knock me back;
A deliberate attempt to keep me off track.

This crowd represented my racing mind;
And the hound was stalking not far behind.

As the black dog jumped to attack;
I learned to stop and take a step back.

To understand why I thought this way;
Slowly kept the Chihuahua at bay.

However, this was not an easy road;
At times unable to bear the load.

Managing the hound is a learning curve;
Littered with obstacles I try to swerve.

As the saying goes, ‘a dog is for life’;
But it won’t become a bane or strife.

The Chihuahua’s a part of who I am;
And hiding it would be a sham.

By accepting it, I’m no longer afraid;
Back in control, not disobeyed.

My final message to the hound within;
Living for so long beneath my skin.

Having you here is not a disaster;
For you are my dog, but I am your master.

By Paul Webster